Heartbreak Cavern

She lay back on the blankets, watching the clouds roll in. The sky had turned black and ominous. Wind howled and the temperature had turned unseasonably cold.

The impending storm was perfectly matched to her mood.

The day hadn't started like this, of course. It began with brilliant blue skies and a hike to this clearing. They sat on the rocks overlooking the water... Out of nowhere, he got down on one knee. She was so distracted by the incredibly large diamond sparkling on her finger that he couldn't make out the words of his proposal...

She pulled him to his feet, kissing him hard. They spent hours on this blanket. Making love in the middle of this field, where anyone could come by and find them, was one hell of a rush. Perhaps it was that rush, too much sun or too much wine...but why did he think it would be a good idea to take a swim?

They had raced over to the water's edge, climbing over, under and through the rocks that stood in their way. Diving in, they savored the chill of the water after the heat of the sun baking down on their naked flesh.

It could have been hours, or only minutes, that they had the water to themselves. Time had always ceased to exist when they were together. But too soon they heard voices coming toward them. They quickly scrambled from the water.

As they were climbing up a particularly large rock, she lost her footing. He reached down to grab for her, but the rock's surface was slick. He managed to pull her to safety, but lost his own footing and fell. There was a sick crunching noise as the base of his skull connected with the boulder. His body was limp as it bounced off smaller rocks before coming to rest, face down in the water.

There was nothing she could do to help him. To save him.

Her screams echoed off the rocky walls of the cavern. When the hikers found her, she was still screaming. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she shook uncontrollably. They helped her back to the clearing - to these blankets, where she remained huddled ever since.

When asked, she rambled incomprehensibly about the accident. She would later repeat the same story to the police. To his family. To her own. To herself.

Because no one could ever know the truth of what happened up on that cavern...

First Day Jitters...

Just over three weeks ago, I walked out of my office for the last time.

Some people have asked me if it was hard to leave. The answer isn't a simple yes or no. It was hard to leave certain people. I was very comfortable with what I was doing... I mean, I can put together the entire case in an oppressed minority shareholder dispute in my sleep at this point. And it's never easy to leave what's familiar and start over again somewhere new.

But that's what I'm about to do.

Today I actually have to set the alarm. Dress in something other than the sweats I've been bumming around in since my surgery. Because today I start my new job...at the new office...in a new area of the law...

And I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm nervous as hell about it.

Ultimately, I know it's the best thing for me... But still, wish me luck.

Has anyone seen my mojo?

Yeah, I know.

I've been a bad girl again. I'm neglecting my blog and it's been ages since I put together a good story. The whole job debacle kind of killed my writing mojo and I'm still trying to get it back...

So, until I do, I leave you with this....

Gossip

Did you hear about Jaime?

Did you SEE her at the bar? She was wearing (gasp) leather pants!
I heard that she put herself through law school on the tips she earned working at a strip club.
She's sleeping with Brian.
She has a child with Brian.
She has another child with Joel.
She slapped Hunter across the face because he wanted to have a baby with her.
She has a baby with her roommate.
Oh...and while she's off being such a slut, she's engaged to someone else.

Going to law school is a lesson in reverting back to kindergarten... Other than study, all anyone seems to do is talk about each other. Maybe it's the stress. Maybe it was the boredom of going to school in a dinky little town where virtually everything but the bars shut down after dark. Maybe it's just because there was nothing else to do.

But those were actual rumors that went around the school about yours truly. Only one of them was actually true...can you guess which one?

I thought it was pretty entertaining that people seemingly were gullible enough to believe that I was somehow impregnated by my female roommate, grew a human inside me for 9 months and popped out a baby - all within the first month of school.

You'd think that people who graduated from high school, possessed a college degree and scored high enough on the LSAT to get into law school would be a little more...mature. You might also think that we grew out of that kind of juvenile nonsense after we graduated, passed the bar and became practicing attorneys. And if you believe that, I have a nice bridge I'd like to sell you...

These days, the gossip about me focuses on why I really left my job and what I'm doing with my life now. The thing I can't understand is why anyone is publicly speculating about any of this.

Can't people just mind their own fucking business? Why does it matter to any of them that I left my job? Or why it happened.

If they really have nothing better to do than idly speculate about me, maybe they need to get a new job...

I'm not a very good patient.

I don't do "take it easy" well. I feel like I should be doing something, almost all the time. If I sit on the couch too long, the lack of inertia slowly starts driving me insane. And I HATE having to rely on other people taking care of me...

I had knee surgery yesterday. It was relatively minor as far as knee surgeries go. I tore the meniscus in my left knee because my trainer was a MORON and had me doing band pull-ups in two bands. My leg got stuck between them and, while I was twisting around trying to get unstuck, he was on the other side of the room paying absolutely no attention talking to some ugly guy with a really unkempt beard. By the time he saw what was going on and started to run over to help, I had twisted my knee the wrong way...and the rest is history.

Anyway, they gave me crutches at the surgical center. My doctor told me that I probably wouldn't be using them by the end of the day. I ditched the things as soon as I got to the house. After about six hours of icing my knee, tanking up on pain killers and laying on the couch, I ventured upstairs. Mostly to see if I could do it. Also because I was a bit lonely and hubby was on the phone up there so he wouldn't disturb me.

You know that someone who is as used to pushing as I am isn't satisfied with silly little things like being able to hobble a few feet at a time or climbing the stairs. No, my dumb ass decided that I could walk around today...without taking anything for pain (not even tylenol). My knee started bothering me after I had gone out to lunch and wandered through Dicks to find a lefty glove for Andrew. But I didn't listen.

I admit it... I totally overdid it today. And I am absolutely paying for it now. Like I said at the beginning of this post, I SUCK at being a patient.

So I'm going to end this post by saying it's time to pop some percocet, strap on a fresh ice pack and fall asleep for as long as I can. Maybe tomorrow I'll figure out how to do this better. maybe.