fire

My little secret...It was over, but no one knew it. I had ended things with my fiance. I still wore his ring so no one would suspect. I just couldn't deal with the questions yet.

Then one night I had plans to go out with some friends. I started to slide the ring onto my finger, but it seemingly weighed a ton. I could not bring myself to put it on. Knowing how oblivious this group would be to such minor details, I returned the ring to its box.

We started at a bar downtown, quickly pounding a couple drinks to celebrate the end of the week before retreating to Szechuan Garden. It was the local Chinese restaurant with shockingly good food for Concord, and also featured karaoke on Friday nights. They tried to rope me into it, but it would take far more alcohol to get me up on that stage.

That's when we started drinking scorpion bowls. Despite being more than a little tipsy, there was no dragging me up to the microphone. Instead, I hung back and watched Brian and Jeff struggle through the world's worst rendition of "Rodeo."

It didn't take long to run out of money. We were all poor law students living off our loans. Without anymore money, it was time to stumble across the highway to Jeff's house. He had a huge backyard and a fire pit. In our heavily boozed state, we thought it would be a brilliant idea to start a bonfire.

I let the boys run around trying to get it started while I hung back nursing another beer. I don't know how long I stood staring at the flames, but suddenly Jeff appeared next to me. In a low voice he drawled, "I couldn't help but notice you're not wearing your ring."

My jaw literally dropped. "You're head over heels for him." It was a statement, not a question. My jaw dropped a little further.

I looked up at Jeff with tears glistening in my eyes. For someone who never struck me as particularly observant, he had me completely pegged. I returned my gaze to the flickering flames and whispered, "I'm scared."

His hand found mine and gave it a quick squeeze. "Jaime, you have to give it a shot. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. But at least you won't spend the rest of your life wondering what would have happened."

I nodded slowly, afraid to meet his eyes again, knowing that the tears would start streaming down my face if I looked away from the fire. He knew me well enough to walk away and leave me to my thoughts.

I could have been staring at the flames for minutes or hours. For however long it was, I was completely lost in my very fuzzy thoughts. Later that night, it all became clear.

That was the night hubby and I got together.

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