My last day of work is Friday.
It's been very strange wrapping things up at the office. For the first time in seven years, I really have no desire to walk through the door. I had the best of intentions of finalizing all the stuff I had on my plate. I cannot make myself do it. I think for the entire month MAYBE I've billed 45 hours. (I'm supposed to bill 163.3)
I went to work today in a suit. I put on make up. All because I had a 3:00 meeting in a case with the clients and our court-appointed fiscal agent. And my boss announced that he was going to go instead of me. I know he didn't mean it as a slight. He has to learn this file and he knows no one knows it better than me. He also wanted to have the clients alone so that he could tell them that I am leaving the firm. But still...it stung a little that I wasn't going.
I removed all my diplomas and law licenses from my wall at the office tonight. It was a simple act. Certainly an inevitable one. And yet the finality of it has me wide awake in the middle of the night because I'm completely freaking out.
I know I did the right thing.
I know it's the best thing for me.
So why am I driving myself nuts second guessing everything right now?
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6 comments:
Change is scary. Going from known to unknown is terrifying. You will be fine! :)
Why?
Because for seven years you put your heart and soul into that job. And your employer knew it. And you knew they knew it.
You developed a relationship with the other people employed there. And with your clients.
You created a bond with that place that you cemented with long hours, hard work and dedication, lost sleep, tears and conviction.
But like a romance gone bad, you feel the opposing tug of war between your head telling you he's no good for you and the best thing is to get out of the relationship, and your heart that tells you he's still the one.
You know you are doing the right thing. Don't let your heart get in the way of that.
Wish you the best Jaime.
Matty
because you are standing on the cliff looking over...but jump...you will be fine and i am glad you are standing your ground as you walk out the door...
When one door closes ......... you are starting a whole new chapter in life. It is almost like a divorce, and there is bound to be some conflicting feelings.
Definitely the best decision. You are an amazing woman and will do well no matter where you go or what you do!
Sorry I missed this when you posted it. I've been a bit... preoccupied lately.
I hope all is well, and I wish you the best in whatever you do next.
Change is hard, especially at first, but it gets easier. (Maybe by the time I've written this, you're fine again!)
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