Insanity

It's the last day of the month. Know what that means? It's the mad rush to get in all the billable hours possible before it's too late. You can't start the year in the hole, particularly since it's mathmatically impossible to make your hours in February unless you give up little things like food, sleep and ever leaving the office...

I'm drowning in work and had to skip my work out this morning to crank out a brief. So I thought I would leave you with these tips for maintaining a healthy level of insanity in your own life:

At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. Laugh as they slow down thinking you're a cop.

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

Every time anyone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone gets over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many strange looks you get.

Order a "diet water" when you go out to eat

Sing along at the opera.

Specify your drive-through order is "to go"

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't go to their party because you have a headache.

When money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"

When leaving the zoo, run toward the parking lot as you yell "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! THEY'RE LOOSE!"

Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.