Friday, August 27, 2010

Remember


Deep within the thicket of green
Sits a cottage in white.
We stumbled over the place once.
When the skies grew dark with pouring rain and whipping wind.

The doors were unlocked.

Inside we sought shelter from the storm
We found the fire already roaring
Two glasses of wine already poured

It was if someone set the stage just for us

Giggling like children, we tore at each other's wet clothes.
Your lips found mine, warm and inviting.
A tangle of limbs
My port in the storm

Years have passed

I still remember
The thicket
The little white cottage
The night in the storm

I still remember...
Do you?

____________
Check out other Magpie Tales here.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Random

I feel like I've done nothing but write lately. Believe it or not, I actually wrote three posts last week. None of them for this blog, of course. If you want to hear about things that shouldn't be spoken, check out this post. If you want to hear about the joys of potty training (yeah, who wants to hear that), check out this post. And if you want to see more random, I did a guest post for the fabulous Ms. Salti, which she's running on Tuesday.

Since I'm tired of writing, I'll let these pics do most of the talking...



Yeah... It's really the jackhammers this woman needs to worry about...

I wish I could do stuff like this. Too bad my job is to protect people from their own stupidity rather than to highlight it.


Sometimes there are just no words...



Show of hands... who the hell is going to spend money buying THIS contraption???

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Try to Forget


She sank back against the white porcelain. Hot water lapped against her chest. She added a handful of perfumed beads to the steaming water and bubbles quickly filled the tub.

Soft music played from her iPod. Her kindle, loaded with a new book from her favorite author, lay forgotten on the ledge. Instead, she opted for the glass of wine, savoring the tart merlot as it flooded her mouth and dulled her senses.

Long days, spent trying to solve other people's problems. The nights were longer as she tried to ignore her own. The house was finally quiet...only the sounds of snoring could be heard from the bedrooms and the gentle lapping of water against her flesh.

Sad.
Lonely.
Angry.
Hurt.

She closed her eyes, slipping beneath the surface, allowing herself for a moment to just forget.

____________
Check out more Magpie tales... And on that note, I'm finally going to sleep.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Fortune Teller

I shouldn't be in the waiting room. The whole place just radiated a creepy vibe that I couldn't shake. Madame Nuri was a fortune teller who specialized in Tarot. Her shop smelled so strongly of incense, it made your head spin. Why the girls wanted to come here as part of the bachelorette celebration, I couldn't understood.

The beaded curtain (who has beaded curtains anymore?) rustled when the gypsy entered the room. She beckoned to us. Giggling and teetering drunkenly on her heels, Meghan, our bride-to-be surged forward. Madame spotted an easy mark and grinned wickedly, dollar signs in her eyes. The rest of the girls eagerly followed through the curtain to the back room.

I hung back at the entrance to the room, not wanting to draw the gypsy's attention. She began with an overly dramatic explanation of Tarot cards. Madame Nuri settled Meghan into a chair and began to read our future bride's fortune. The tale was a perfect con: the promise of a brilliant future, love, happiness, but a dark cloud on the horizon. Shadows of doubt hung over their future. For a special bargain price, she could book additional sessions to further explore the secrets of the universe.

Meghan was all too eager to turn over her AmEx, paying for ten sessions in advance. The other girls soon followed suit. For each of them, the gypsy's performance was stage-worthy. Their fortunes foretold almost exactly what they wanted to hear, but - for an additional fee, of course - they could delve into the darkness threatening to block out the light of their future happiness.

Through it all, I fought to remain quiet and not expose the gypsy for a fraud. But I couldn't hold back the snickers when the gypsy proclaimed Grace would be a hugely successful ballerina. Grace is the clumsiest of our group. She also lacks the athletic ability or body type necessary for ballet.

Don't think me bitchy. I know about these things. Many years ago, I had been a prima ballerina. A star of the stage, performing for royal families across the world. It was a Russian Czar who was ultimately my downfall, leading to the cursed existence I lead today. But we'll get to that later.

The gypsy turned on me, eyes blazing. Staring back at her black eyes, which widened with sudden understanding, I knew I had underestimated this woman. I took her for nothing more than a con, but she clearly had the talent.

"Old woman, if you want to survive this night, say nothing." I commanded silently. She inclined her head slightly, presumably in agreement. I didn't want to kill the gypsy, but preserving my secret was paramount if I wanted to stay in this city...

The gypsy motion for me to sit at her table. I had no interest in her reading my cards. "Watch yourself, gypsy." I cautioned wordlessly. Her face revealed nothing as she turned the cards. I knew enough about Tarot to see each card was worse than the next, revealing darkness, sorrow and death.

Instead of reading the cards, Madame reached for my hand. Turning it over, she began to examine my palm. "This here is your lifeline. You are destined to live to a very old age." Her eyes met mine briefly before returning to my hand. "But this, your love line, is short and broken. It seems you will be alone for much of your long life. You will have riches and fame, but love eludes you. You shall spend your time in the company of men - hmm...many men, it appears - and while they will give you pleasures of the flesh, their hearts remain their own."

My eyes hardened and I was about to issue another warning to the gypsy when she pushed back from the table. "A long life, alone?" I chided. "What kind of fortune is that?"

Madame Nuri lowered her voice so no one else could hear. "Yours, my child. What other future would a succubus have for the rest of eternity?"

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

the one where i bitch...

So I've been home for a whopping hour and a half... We just got back from Vegas. What a miserable fucking trip. Not the entire trip. But today was a nightmare.

It wasn't just because my lovely dizzy issues were flaring up and, really, who the hell wants to be on an airplane when they're lightheaded?

My son LOVES my mother. It's really great how close they are. Of course, when Nana is around, the rest of the world pretty much ceases to exist. He only wants to be around her. And if she has the audacity to leave the room for any length of time, he tends to go ballistic.

So in the airport, my parents hop on the plane the second they announce first class can board. Andrew went absolutely nuts. He was sobbing hysterically. Totally inconsolable. You literally could hear him across the terminal.

But regardless of how upset he was, I knew he'd be fine once we got him onto the plane. We'd turn on the portable DVD player (WISEST INVESTMENT EVER!), distract him with some cookies and he'd be fine.

But as we're trying to board the airplane, we get pulled out of line. "Is he going to be okay to fly?"

What kind of a stupid ass question is that?

But even though I told her - in great detail - that Andrew would be fine once we got to the seats, that apparently wasn't good enough. I then got dragged off the plane where I was interrogated by eight fucking people about whether I would be able to control my kid. And I was told in no uncertain terms that if I couldn't control my kid, we wouldn't be able to fly.

Give me a fucking break.

Yes, it's embarrassing as hell when you're out in public and your kid is the screaming baby. It's stressful. It sucks.

But I've been on tons of flights were kids screamed from one coast to another... We didn't have to divert and land somewhere to kick the offending child off the plane. I have NEVER seen them pull the mom off the plane to make her feel inept because her kid was upset.

By the time I got back to my seat, Andrew was fine...happily engrossed in "Toy Story" just as I knew he would be. Me on the other hand? I was the miserable one.

Tears slid freely down my cheeks as I replayed the conversation in my head... as I thought of all the things I could have said, wanted to say, but I had held my tongue instead. The things I wanted to say probably would have gotten me arrested...

Not exactly a great trip back... home sweet fucking home.