Random Tuesday Thoughts #3

I've always had long, thick, curly hair. It has the tendency to frizz horribly and in the battle of Jaime versus her hair, I usually lose. So I finally decided to get my hair straightened. "You'll love it! It'll be so easy! You can just roll out of bed and go." Yeah. Right. FALSE ADVERTISING.

I thought I'd get out of the shower and my hair would be stick straight. Well, it's not. It's only straight after a painful hour (sometimes more - I'm still not very good at this) of straightening my hair first with a brush and blowdryer and then with a straightening iron. And if I leave the slightest bit of moisture in my hair, it curls. I love my hair straight but I'm not sure it's worth all this freaking effort!

I'm psyched to be going to opening day. Yes, the Yankees are pigs so I won't be able to enjoy the game sitting next to my dad. Yes, there's a very good chance that my sister and I will kill each other by the end of the game if she's in one of her moods. And yes, my seats suck. But they're in the stadium. I was at the last game in the old stadium and I'll be there for the first at the new one. That's pretty damn cool so I really have no right to complain.

Speaking of complaining... it's the last day of the month so I have only a few more precious hours to bill as much as possible before they close the books on my numbers. I only have to bill 184 hours to keep myself out of trouble... Think I'll make it?

I opened the mail today and found that I've been invited to my boss' daughter's wedding. I've never met her. But I've been working for their family since I graduated from law school six years ago. (Wow - I feel old saying that) So the question is: what's the going rate for a wedding gift for someone you've never met, who makes more money than you do, when you work for the girl's dad and are still billed as the favorite law clerk of her step-mom five years later?

And let me give you a little lesson in how NOT to settle a case: DO NOT turn your case from a $3.9 million claim to a $20 million one TWO DAYS before the freaking mediation!

I'm hungry. Is it time for lunch yet?

Check out more Random Tuesday Thoughts with The UnMom.

Yes, I'm Slacking

I've been slacking. I haven't been making it around to all your blogs, posting comments and responding to all your comments. It's been a rough month and under some very heavy threats, I've basically had to bill an extra week's worth of work this month. Hopefully I'll resurface within the next couple days...


Anyway, the fabulous Erica thinks I'm a sexy bitch and has bestowed this award on me:





I'm finally getting around to this post. And if I'm being honest, I stalled on doing this because you're supposed to list a bunch of stuff that makes you a sexy blogger bitch and I wasn't feeling very sexy. But in a misguided attempt to prove hubby wrong after he paid me a compliment, I jumped on the scale for the first time in months and learned that I have lost 51 pounds since I had Andrew. So between that, finally seeing some results from working out and my new haircut (I'm loving my hair layered and straight), I have a bit of my old attitude back. And if you ask anyone who really knows me, this makes me either totally sexy or a total bitch... I guess it depends on the moment. Or your perspective. Whatever...

I've rambled on long enough. It is now my privilege to pass this award on to:

Peggy

Candice

Jamie

Stacy

Dani

Thanks again Erica!

Adventures in Lawyerland (Part 3)

Read part 1 here. Read part 2 here.

Applying to law schools is somewhat more terrifying than applying to college. Your parents have bragged to the universe that you’re going to be a lawyer. Now you have THAT to live up to.

I pretty much blanketed the east coast with applications. And then the waiting game began. Every day that I checked my mailbox and didn’t see a letter was agony. I was quickly rejected from the Harvards and Yales of the world… no surprise there. I’m not really “Harvard material” anyway.

Then one day after four agonizing months of waiting, I got my first acceptance letter. New England School of Law. You can’t imagine – and I can’t adequately describe – the relief I felt at receiving that letter. I would be going to law school SOMEWHERE. It didn’t matter that this school was in Boston. UGH! The heart of Red Sox country. Winter would last from October through April. It was so far away.

The next letter came. Franklin Pierce Law Center. In freaking Concord, NH. It was my dad’s school. He was literally the first graduate. If I went there, I would have that to live up to. 200 people in each class. There were more people than that in most of my lectures at Maryland! And let’s not forget it would be TEN HOURS away from my life in Maryland. Away from my friends. My boyfriend. My love.

I HAD TO get into a Maryland law school.

The rejection from Maryland School of Law came like a wrecking ball. It was heartbreaking to think I would have to leave my life in Maryland behind. But I had one chance left – my letter from Baltimore hadn’t come through yet. And when it did, I got in. I desperately wanted to like the school. But once I set foot on its campus, I knew I couldn’t go there. I HATED it. I had felt the same way about the school in Boston. I cried through most of my tour. I knew I was going to school in New Hampshire. And I couldn't stand the idea of it.

But I would stay if he asked me to. I knew it. He knew it. All he had to do was tell me he wanted me there with him.

He didn't say it. Couldn't? Wouldn't? I'm still not sure which...

And so off to Concord I went.

Aloha Friday #5

In Hawaii, Aloha Friday is a day to take it easy and look forward to the weekend. So today I'm taking it easy on blogging. I ask a question - you answer. Today's question is:

If you could have one super power, what would it be?

I would want the ability to fly. No special reason...other than it's the best super power!

Hey baby...what's your sign?

Prompt: 5.) Cheesy pick up lines

Check out this week's other participants here.

Cheesy pick up lines.

I've heard my fair share. I've used my fair share as well. One of my shining moments occurred at a sorority crush party at The Station. I'd had more drinks than I cared to count and was very nicely boozed. I spotted this really hot guy at the bar. He was drinking a beer, ignoring everyone who hit on him.

The song changed and "When I Kiss Your Mouth" starts blaring through the speakers. I decided this would be a brilliant opportunity to make my move. You see where this is going... I sidle next to him, lean over and in my best sexy voice started singing "Would it be so bad if I could turn you on..."

I know. I'm totally embarrassed about this stellar moment of Jaime flirting all these years later. But, whatever, it worked. I got the guy everyone else wanted. HA!

Three years later, it was my turn to be serenaded. Not by one guy. He convinced a group of THIRTY to sing to me.

We were both working that summer as orientation advisors. We were bored one night after a program and watched one of my all-time favorite movies, Top Gun. You know the scene in the bar where Tom Cruise sings "You've Lost that Lovin' Feelin'" to Kelly McGillis? My comment to this was "I would DIE if someone did that to me."

So two programs later, I'm walking my students down Route 1 to get some free stuff from the book store when I see him and his group of students sitting along the brick wall. When I got within shouting distance, as if on cue, they all jump up and start singing "Do Wah Diddy."

I'm really not an attention hound. It embarrassed the hell out of me. My students all started with the cat calling and whistling. The ones who knew the lyrics started singing along. One girl started screaming that this was just the sweetest thing she'd ever seen. And another whispered in my ear that I had to wait to the end of the song and give the guy a kiss because he orchastrated this whole thing for me.

It was the longest rendition of Do Wah Diddy known to man. But I got my serenade and he got his kiss.

I guess the singing, cheesy as it may be, works after all...

Theme Thursday: The Writer's Block Edition

It's time for another Theme Thursday. This week's theme is "mineral." I'm out of time to figure out what I want to say and I still have no clue what I'm going to write about.

In college, we had to take 1 lab science and 1 non-lab science as requirements for graduation. I thought about taking "Gems and Gemstones" as my non-lab. Mom didn't think that was much of a "science course" and I figured I already learned all I needed to about gems from my grandpa. (In a moment of pure stupidity, I took nutrition instead. It was the only D I ever earned. Shhh... Don't tell my folks. They still think I got a C.)

My grandpa was a jeweler. Now it's just something he dabbles in as a hobby. I'd go to his house and spend hours looking at his books of crystals, rare gems and, of course, diamonds. He always had a few stones laying around his workshop and, if I asked real nicely, I got to play with them.

Grandpa loves to see his girls in sparkly pieces he fashioned himself. He'd slave over making the most beautiful rings, bracelets and necklaces for special occasions. He designed my engagement ring, picked out all the stones, and harassed every contact he has in the diamond district until the thing was perfect. When I was in the hospital after the baby was born, hubby presented me with another grandpa original - a bracelet made with the same stones as my engagement ring.

I learned a long time ago that right before I saw him, I had to make sure my jewlery - his beautiful work- really shone. Last month, even though he was in the hospital, even though he was so exhausted and sick he could barely speak, he shook his head and told me it was "disgraceful" how dirty my necklace was.

That's my grandpa. Hugs and kisses hello. Then the sparkle factor inspection. I love it...



And, of course, I really love him.

wordless wednesday #8

Craig seems a little creepy, don't you think?

Tuesday Randomness

I'm really not one to brag. Sometimes I think I'm far too modest for this profession. But since I can officially say this now, I'm going to: I have been named one of the Rising Stars (Jersey's outstanding young lawyers). Less than 2.5% of the State's lawyers earn this distinction. If you know anything about Jersey, the jokes go that we're full of toxic waste dumps and lawyers. So that means I beat out a ton of people for the honor of having my name and photograph appear in the Law Journal's Super Lawyers edition.

My photo kind of sucks though. I was 6 months pregnant and very puffy looking when they took this one. I wish they'd let me take a different one for them to publish!

But anyway, this is a very cool thing. One I'll probably never mention again because that's just the way I am... I don't announce to the world that I was founding editor in chief of law review or that I won a silly award for the 4th best brief in moot court. I did this stuff because I wanted to, not because it'd look good on my resume or because I wanted to have bragging rights to it years later.

Years later, if I don't have new stuff to brag about, I'm doing something wrong. So this is my moment of bragging.

And I'm done now.

Andrew's feeling much better. He walked into day care this morning and was promptly swarmed by his fans. Seriously, every little girl in his class loves him. He cruises in and they all stop what they're doing and flock to him. Some he high fives. Some give him hugs and try to hold his hand all day. Some are his dance partners. But I think his heart belongs to Katie today - because she shared her french toast sticks with him this morning.

If I had my way, people would have to submit themselves to remedial drivers lessons. What is it about the slightest bit of weather that make people forget how to drive? And why do people drive FIFTEEN in the fast lane? Fifteen is NOT fast. Not even for a snail.

I better get back to work... We have an expert report due in 7 days and don't have an expert yet. OOPS!

Visit The Un Mom for more random Tuesday thoughts...

Duh

Did you ever watch that show "Street Smarts"? If not, it was a game show on late at night based on Leno's "Jay Walking." It's amazing the stupid things that come out of people's mouths. Actually, it's pretty embarrasing how dumb we sound sometimes.


One night, hubby (before he was officially hubby) and I were up late watching the show while cramming for our torts midterm and cranking out our memo for legal writing. The host asked a contestant "What's the national mint?" And the woman says "Spearmint?" In a moment of pure genius, I look at hubby and ask "We have a national mint?"


He gave me the look. The "you can't honestly be that dumb" look. I got this look more than a few times this weekend.

Like after hubby said A&M was playing U Conn, I checked the bracket. "Wait a minute. This thing says A&M is playing Connecticut." (You know, it took almost a full minute for me to realize the brilliance of this comment)

After awhile my son got in on the action. I was getting a snack for him. I'm holding a banana in my hand and ask him if he wants...an orange. (He hates oranges) Andrew also gave me the look. Not just the look. He actually put his hands on his hips and screamed NO at the top of his lungs. Then he pointed at the banana and yelled "nana" with all the authority of a 15 month old who clearly knows better than mom.

I think mom needs more sleep

And now a moment of total irrationalness...

Is "irrationalness" even a word? Whatever. I don't care. I'm a lawyer. We make up words all the time...

I panic every time Andrew runs a fever.

The rational part of me (yup - I really do have one) knows he has a cold. Every single kid in his classroom at daycare had a runny nose and cough on Friday. Getting sick was inevitable. Kids get fevers when they're sick.

I know this.

But I can't help but think that we're scheduled to go back for one last ultrasound in April. The infection wasn't completely gone during the last scan of his kidneys. Smaller, yes. Still shrinking, sure. The way we left things with the doctors was that his body would have to fight off the rest of the infection on its own and if he spiked a really high fever, to let them know.

So every single time he's run a fever since them, I've been afraid the infection is back with a vengence and it's going to land my little guy back in the hospital.

Okay... I've had my moment of freaking out. I'll be back with something more sane in the morning.

Adventures in Lawyerland (Part 2)

Read part 1 here.


Senior year. I hated a large chunk of my senior year. I made the mistake of living in my sorority house again. I lost the election for president by 1 vote and I was NOT happy about serving as VP under someone unqualified to swat a fly. (Do I still sound bitter?)

Anyway, I HATE tests. I know. No one likes them. But there's just something about having to fill in little scantron bubbles with #2 pencils that makes my brain go to mush. So I did what all completely paranoid pre-law students should. I signed up for every review class known to man, every study group and bought every last damn prep book out there on the LSAT. I knew I'd suck it up on the test, so I had to do everything in my power to guarantee that other people would suck worse.

I finagled my schedule first semester so I only had class on Tuesday and Thursday, with one class at 11 on Wednesday. I was loving my 4 day weekends, but it meant that my Tuesdays and Thursdays lasted from 9 am until 10 pm. LSAT prep was 4 painful hours long each night. To say I wanted to die as I dragged my ass through the door each night is the understatement of the centry. And as I trudged up the winding staircase to my room, my ears were assailed by the blasting music and screaming as my sisters prepared themselves to go out.


I'd given up on thinking they'd be considerate of my studying as they pregamed. But I was going to scream if I had to hear the girl next door squeal ONE MORE TIME about the really really hot guy she hooked up with last night - you know him...the gorgeous lambda chi...what do you mean there are no hot lambdas! He was SOOOOO cute! But what was his name? I never got the answer to that one...she was FAR too drunk.


I bit my tongue as I sat on my bed, covered in text books until the last kids ran off to the bar with their fake IDs. I'd study til 1, get up and do it again the next day. It went on like that until that unseasonably cold day in October where we took the test.

I was stuck in a room with 40 other people – all freaking out. Even on my best practice test, I never topped 150. (180 is perfect – 150 is dead average) The only thing I could say for myself was I was consistent. I always scored within 3 points of 150…but you didn’t want to send in test scores in the 140 range. That would be the kiss of death.

I was the only one who walked in without study materials. I’ve never been one for the last second cram. I regretted it the second I heard the rumors.

We had heard that morning that the “experimental section” would be the reasoning questions. Analytical reasoning was by far my worst section. I can mindfuck anything to death. Don’t ask me why I consistently screwed up these questions...

The test past in a blur. Everyone speculated between sections which one was the “fake” section. I found religion mid-test and started praying that it was the fourth one. It was close to impossible and that was theoretically the sign of the test questions.

I finished the last section quickly. Too quickly. I had to listen for 2o agonizing minutes to the chants of “CORNERSTONE! CORNERSTONE!” as people ran by the windows, throwing study materials in the air as they headed – as quickly as possible – for the local bar. I wanted to be outside that room so badly I could already taste the first sips of the vodka cranberry I would soon be savoring.

Just before the proctor called “time,” I was struck with utter panic. I wanted to tear my test into pieces and run screaming from the room. I KNEW I failed. I knew it with every fiber of my being. Tears welled up in my eyes as I was finally able to leave the room. I was never going to get in ANYWHERE with this score. (And that’s where chapter 3 of our story begins next time)

VGNO - Spring is Here

I know the calendar says today is the first day of Spring. But someone forgot to inform Mother Nature of this fact. I opened the door this morning to blizzard-like snow conditions. Someone must have missed the memo - I left New Hampshire so I wouldn't be dealing with snow during the Spring months...

But the weather perfectly cooperated for my first Virtual Girl's Night Out. So get dressed up, or down, in your favorite pajamas, grab a cocktail and head over to Ann's blog to play along.

Here's tonight's party game:

Go to this site that helps you find words in words. Take your blog title and see how many fun words can be found.

"Red Red Whine" kicks back 8 pages of results. Here are just a few:

Denied

Die

Winded

Widen

Wider

Wine

I think someone is trying to tell me something... Remember when I said I was going to run in a race with my marathon-running father? Well, training has not been going very well. Work keeps getting in the way of things like exercise, sleep and eating properly.

Maybe the fine folks at Words in Words are trying to tell me to forget about the gym, grab a glass of wine, a few cookies and hang on the couch. Then again, maybe they're trying to motivate me to get my butt in gear... What do you think?

aloha friday #4

In Hawaii, Aloha Friday is a day to take it easy and look forward to the weekend. So today I'm taking it easy on blogging. I ask a question - you answer. Today's question is:

What was your favorite cartoon or comic when you were growing up?

I had a hard time picking only one answer to this question. I loved the Snorks and Wuzzles, although it seems like no one else knows these shows... But my all time favorite was Fraggle Rock.

Let's discuss...

It's time for another Theme Thursday. This week's topic is vegetable.

I'm not the biggest fan of veggies, unless they are of the potato variety and deep fried. I pick all tomatoes off my sandwiches. Onions might as well not be served with my burgers. And forget about celery, unless it's covered in peanut butter and raisins.

But if we have to talk about vegetables, sit down, grab a cup of coffee and let's discuss...lettuce.

Do you know what you get if you google lettuce? You get THIS GUY

What possesses someone to dress up like a head of lettuce? A wilted head of lettuce no less. If the urge ever strikes me to paint my body and get dressed up as an inanimate object, I swear that I'm not going to go prancing around as lettuce.

This guy is just plain scary looking. He actually did a pretty good job making himself appear salad-like. But how many drinks do you think this guy consumed before coming to the conclusion that this would be a good look for him?

Up All Night

Writing Prompt: I used to think...

Check out this week's other participants here.

I used to think that my all-nighter days were firmly in my past.

In college, all-nighters rarely had anything to do with work. Those were the best nights. Staying up all night drinking. Talking. Laughing. Stolen glances and moments. Flirting. Kissing. Touching. Wanting. Needing. Taking.

Those all-nighters stand out in my memory as some of my happiest and most memorable times. The fuzzy, sleep deprived haze I stumbled around in the next day was well worth it.

In law school, staying up all night was a right of passage. I never really drank coffee until law school. By the end of my first semester, I was polishing off over a pot a day. I did some of my best work at 2 am. I wrote amazing briefs tanked up on caffeine in the middle of the night. My mind was crystal clear as I memorized flash cards on the rule against perpetuities and subject matter jurisdiction. (Believe me, that stuff could put anyone to sleep). I taught my friends an entire semester's worth of criminal procedure between the hours of 1 and 4 the morning before our final. I must have done a pretty thorough job - they all got a B+ in the class.

After graduation, as I studied for the bar, all-nighters were more a function of complete and total panic. The only way to get through those anxiety filled moments were to crack open one of the many study guides and pour over the pages.

But the all-nighters stopped after the bar. I was very happy to leave this ritual in the past. Until tonight.

I am now working on my 17th billable hour of the day. For the uninitiated, that's over 2 days worth of hours rolled into one. I'm trying to polish off a mediation statement in a multi-million dollar construction case. I found out at 6 tonight that I had some light reading to do. Nothing major - only 1,000 pages of expert reports on precast tees, bond beams and k-lines. Truly fascinating stuff. I have to do this so I can write a portion of the mediation statement someone else was supposed to prepare.

So here I sit with my laptop, my pot of coffee and bleary red eyes. And right about now, I'd give anything to be back in college enjoying one of those all-nighters instead.

it's been a day

wordless wednesday #7

I know most things are better with bacon...but this is just plain gross

Random Thoughts: St. Patrick's Day Edition

If one more person pinches my ass or arm today, I'm going to scream. Who came up with this "pinch the idiot who doesn't wear green on St. Patty's Day" thing? He should be flogged! I wore green yesterday. Isn't that good enough?

Why do people dye food and beverages bright green? Yes, I know. Green is the color of this holiday. But my food should not be the color of mold. Mold green bagels are just not appetizing.

And green beer? Let's make a digusting drink even more repulsive by turning it the color of radioactive swamp water.

Hubby is not happy with me this morning. It's not my fault he brought home corned beef hash instead of corned beef and cabbage last year. What kind of wife would I be if I didn't sweetly remind him of that fact this year? (and next year...and the next...and the next...)

Shouldn't we cancel work today and go hang out at a pub? If you're not there in body, you're certainly there in mind. Even I, the biggest beer snob of them all, could go for an icy non-green beer right about now... And it's only 10:15. It's going to be a LONG day.

Adventures in Lawyerland

You asked for more lawyer stories. You got it. But, as all good stories should, we'll have to start at the very beginning.

My dad's a lawyer. My uncle's a lawyer. I grew up working in their office. From a very early age, I learned important lessons like:

"Just because you're related to a partner doesn't mean you get to work less hard. You have to work twice as hard to justify being here."

"We're a team. There are no superstars on this team. And if what the team needs from you for a victory is 5 mind-numbing hours in front of a copy machine, you do it. With a smile on your face."

And my personal favorite... "We rent this time from you! From 9 am to 5 pm, you work for me. Play on your own time."

It shouldn't have been a surprise when I announced junior year that I wanted to be a lawyer too. My dad's response? "Are you sure? Don't you want to get a good job?" My mom's? "Well, you better get your grades up, young lady, or you're not going to get in anywhere!"

Ahh... Can't you feel the love and support radiating off the screen? (It's a good thing my mom never knew about that D in nutrition or should would have been even more concerned about my grades)

But other than a brief stint where I wanted to be a ballerina (and I'm far too short, busty and klutzy for that job!), I've always wanted to be a lawyer.

Before I was allowed to do any more thinking about the law as a future career path, my dad ran to the local Blockbuster and brought home "The Paper Chase." He described it as being about as close to your typical 1L (first year) experience without being there. He absolutely forbid me from applying to any law school until I watched the movie.

So I watched it. That night, in fact, just so he'd see how serious I was about this. It was a great movie. I say this now after having the benefit of surviving my 1L year and laughing at the similarities. The pains of struggling to learn through the Socratic method. The scary professors. The madness of exams. Those who can't hack it. If you or anyone you know wants to go to law school, watch this movie first. Particularly if your last name is Hart. You need to know what you're in for!

Like I said, I watched. I discussed the movie with my dad. He tried his best to scare me out of it. He did an admirable job, but I was undeterred. When he saw this, he smiled, ruffled my hair and told me he'd help however he could. Of course, he had to agree with my mom - I had to stop coasting my way through my Criminology classes and actually pick up a text book every once in a while.

The time for fun and games was rapidly coming to an end, with the LSAT looming in the future. But that's a story for another day and where we'll pick up next time.

aloha friday #3

In Hawaii, Aloha Friday is a day to take it easy and look forward to the weekend. So today I'm taking it easy on blogging. I ask a question - you answer. Today's question is:

What was the last movie that you watched?

The last movie I saw in the theaters was "He's Just Not that Into You." I loved it! Hubby didn't think it was quite as funny as I did, but it was definitely worth the overpriced cost of admission.

The last one I saw at home (I love Netflix) was "Burn After Reading." I am dumber for having watched that movie. I seriously think my IQ dropped 50 points during the course of the movie.

Things I don't Understand: The Animal Edition

Okay... yes, I dress my son up in rediculous clothing and drag him out in the dead of winter to have his pictures taken. But he's SO CUTE - and he's happy mugging for the camera.


See? Happy baby. Even being insanely overdressed for an outing to the mall, being propped up in strange positions and being told to perform for the camera by a total stranger.

Anne Geddes has made a bloody fortune taking pictures of babies that incorporate them into animals, flowers and food. Most are cute - though some of them are a bit too out there for me. I find some of the baby butterfly pics just plain creepy.

But what I don't understand is when people dress their animals. Sure, maybe in some circumstances it's okay - like when you live somewhere totally frigid and your dog is so tiny she'd freeze to death without a little sweater. That I find generally acceptable.

This I find insane:


WHAT were these people thinking putting a frog head on their cat. Look at it! The poor thing can barely move because the weight of this frog hat is weighing the poor little guy down.

Does this look like a happy kitty to you? Maybe you could dress yourself up like Santa for this year's Christmas cards and spare the poor cat.

"Gee, honey. I'm bored. Let's turn the dog into an airplane"

"That sounds like a swell idea, dear!"

This poor dog is miserable. Look at him! Would YOU be happy with an airplane strapped to your back?

UGH! I get that people are die hard fans. Wait online for movie tickets for months. Dress up in full costume for conventions. Knock yourself out pretending like you're Yoda. But leave the dogs out of it. Seriously. You make a far better Princess than these guys.

WHAT is this thing? If you're going to torture your poor animal by dressing her up, at least make it something somewhat recognizable. Other than the Pippi Longstocking-like braids, I can't figure out what this poor cat has been made into.

Animals are not meant to wear clothing. Keep the clothes for yourself. Really. The animals won't be self-conscious about being out in public naked.

(This was my first Theme Thursday. Check out the other participants here.)

wordless wednesday #6

uh-oh! the big 1-0-0

That was fast! It seems like just yesterday that I started. And now this is my 100th post.

I started this blog because after long days of being sickeningly sweet and helpful to people I wanted to slap around, posturing with adversaries and "goo goo ga ga"ing with the baby, I needed a place where I could just be me. Not the lawyer. Not the wife. Not the mother. Not the one who has to do everything for everyone all the time.

Just Jaime.

But what would I say? (I'm asking myself this question now, actually)

Should I try to be funny?

My mother has always told me that I have her sense of humor, which is to say, NONE. I've learned that the harder I try to be funny, the less funny I actually am. I'll never be the joker...

Should I be serious?

Seriously? I'm serious all day long. If I wanted serious, I'd go back to work or read the newspaper. Sure, there's a time and a place for seriousness...but usually not on my blog. Plus I hate talking news, politics, religion. It's just not the way to win friends and influence people. And I'd drive myself crazy with that stuff...

Can I actually post my lawyer stories?

I generally subscribe to the theory that "If you have to ask, the answer's no." I have some great stories. But I have to constantly remind myself of the balance between entertainment and my duty to keep client confidences. It's a tough line to walk, particularly when I have to censor some of my best material to only what's in the public record.

Does it even matter?

As I'm constantly reminded, I wasn't sure that anyone would actually WANT to hear what I had to say. And why write for no audience?

But I've found an audience. A great one.

And I've found my voice. Sometimes funny. Sometimes serious. Sometimes the lawyer. Sometimes the mom. Always me.

Thanks for reading...hope you guys stick around for the next hundred. :)

Show and Tell #3

This is the third week of Jen's Show and Tell. What IS Tuesday Show and Tell? Jen gives a subject and you can either "show" a picture in your blog with a story or just "tell" about it in a comment or via a link to your blog. Head over to her blog to play along.

This week's topic is your favorite sport.

No surprise, my answer is baseball. Forget about when the snow thaws and the weather warms up, the official start of spring is when pitchers and catchers report!

I'll keep this different from my last post about my crazy family being the "unknown fans" in the 80s who wore bags over our heads and led the stadium in anti-Steinbrenner chants.

I wrote a story about the last game at the old Yankee Stadium. Maybe one day I'll actually be brave enough to share it with someone other than my favorite editor or people who aren't related to me...



This is my dad, uncle and grandpa at the last game ever at Yankee Stadium. This was the last picture we took from our seats, where we've been sitting every Sunday home game for the past 21 years. They were great seats.

In honor of the last game, unc was granted a waiver on the ban of wearing Yankees garb at the games. I was about 8 when we started this tradition. The owner of the team did something stupid, something offensive and piggish. So dad and unc vowed that they would not wear any Yanks stuff at the Stadium til George (the owner) croaked or sold the team.

This is the new stadium they're building across the street. MAYBE it'll be done on time for opening day. There was nothing wrong with the old stadium, except that it didn't have enough luxury boxes to suit the suits.

This is the view from our new seats. I am SO jealous. Dad, unc and hubby got to head into the Bronx for a tour of the new stadium. The Yanks did this because they wanted to convince my dad to spend a bloody fortune upgrading our seats to a suite. But the attempt to upsell came with the benefit of a tour, so what's the harm in going to listen? The boys got to go play and I got stuck in the office. I tried to convince them they needed their legal advisor along for the trip, but my office had other ideas about how I'd spend my afternoon. :P

I can't wait for the new season to begin.

i hate mornings

Ever have one of those mornings where you wake up and want nothing more than to pull the covers up over your head, turn off the alarm and go back to sleep? Where no matter how hard you try to convince yourself, you just can't bring yourself to pull on your work clothes and head into the office? Where you know that with just an hour or two more sleep, you'll emerge from bed ready to face the day?

Me too.

When life hands you lemons...

Auntie has given me this Lemonade blog award. Isn't it pretty?

You know what comes next... the rules...and here they are:

1) Put the logo on your blog or post.
2) Nominate at least 10 blogs that show great attitude or gratitude.
3) Link to your nominees within your post.
4) Let the nominees know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
5) Share the love and link to the person from who you received your award.

Hmm... I wonder if she thinks I'm the one with the attitude or gratitude!

Either way, with great gratitude and attitude, I now pass this award on to:

Candice
Siren
NeedSleepy
Ms. Florida Transplant
Melissa
Ms. Salti
Jen
Prefers her fantasy life
Blue Violet
Gladys

Thanks Auntie!

aloha friday #2

In Hawaii, Aloha Friday is a day to take it easy and look forward to the weekend. So today I'm taking it easy on blogging. I ask a question - you answer.

Today's question is:

If you could be on any reality tv show, which one would it be and why?

I LOVE the Amazing Race. I really want to be on that show. It'd be incredible to travel the world on someone else's dime.

Random Thoughts

What kind of an idiot calls 911, not once, not twice, but THREE freaking times because she didn't get her McNuggets? They're not even that good!

Your friendly neighborhood lawyer reminds you that monkeys, chimpanzees and baboons are not pets. These are dangerous, wild animals. Know what happens if your wild pet attacks someone? Strict liability. You are at fault. And your victim will end up owning your house and all your freaking money. Go out and get a dog. As long as it's not a pit bull, in most places, you get one "free" bite before you're deemed to know your pet is dangerous.

I think we would all be much more productive at work if you could build naptime into the day. Andrew gets to nap at noon. He's way more energetic about playing afterwards. This logic should be implimented into the workforce!

You know what's going to happen at the end of this recession? All the poor suckers like ME who are working their asses off, paying all their bills and not living above their means will get SCREWED. Maybe I should file for bankruptcy so I can cramdown the amount of my mortgage. Everyone else is doing it...

People are way more productive when they aren't shivvering uncontrollably in their offices. It's 20 freaking degrees guys. Working heat is kind of a necessity.

Even though I'm sitting here in Jersey freezing my ass off, I miss New Hampshire. Quieter, simpler, happier times. And even with law school, way less stress. Better cases too. My stories about the swingers are far more entertaining than the stuff I'm working on these days. I mean, how dicey can a construction dispute get?

My mom is addicted to facebook. I think it's hysterical and, of course, I accepted her friend invitation. But this presented a major problem yesterday when one of my friends made a comment about me and nudity on my wall. She had more of a problem with it than hubby did. Figure that one out.

I need to get back to work... I have a brief due in a couple hours on a truly fasinating topic - trade fixtures.

Is it Friday yet?

wordless wednesday #5

Enough!

Excuses, excuses.

You can find just about any reason to put just about anything off.

"I'm tired"

"I'll do it tomorrow"

"There's plenty of time"

Enough with the excuses!

My grandpa being in the hospital really shook up the troops. (By the way, he's home now and about to start PT.) It scared the hell out of me. And I got me thinking.

I've done some great things, some stupid things, some hurtful things. I've been a good kid and a very bad girl. I don't regret any of it. The good and bad has made me who I am today.

But having grandpa almost die on us has me thinking that I don't want to look back and regret the things I haven't done. Don't worry - you won't get the whole list. Only the top 2:

I love my grandmother. We have the same taste in food, books, just about everything but her affinity for opera... We've been talking about writing a book together for years. We may not get it published. No one may ever read it. But when I see her next month, we're going to stop talking about it and actually start writing.

Before I started law school, I went on an exercise kick. I was in amazing shape. I lost a ton of weight. Damn I looked good. But that's not the point. At the same time, my dad was getting back into running. At 52, he decided that he wanted to run a marathon. So I promised him that I'd run in a race with him. Not a marathon, I'm not that crazy. But a smaller, more reasonable one. Then I let myself get out of shape (unless you figure that round and flabby is a shape). Dad's run in his marathon. And I still haven't done a race with him.

Tonight I told him to pick a race and I'd run it with him. He was so excited that thinking about it now makes me kind of misty. (Or maybe that's the thought of all the work I'm going to need to put in so I don't collapse after 15 minutes.) Tomorrow my trainer will put me on some kind of torturous program so I can get myself ready.

No more excuses.

this never happens

My office is open whenever the courthouse is open. And since the assignment judge lives within walking distance from the courthouse, he never cancels court. Well, that and the fact that 5 years ago, he closed the courthouse on the threat of a major blizzard and then it was a beautiful, sunny day and a scorching 45 degrees. So all the other judges got on his case and he vowed not to close again.

And he hasn't...until today.

The office is closed. Day care is closed. So I'm enjoying my first snow day in almost 10 years. And so is the munchkin.

All that playing outside was hard work. Now that Andrew has passed out, I think it's time for me to follow suit.