Tick tock. The clock's hands moved forward ominously. The room had grown so silent that you could hear the time change on that damn clock. The tension was so thick you could feel it. It was suffocating. Tick tock.I close my eyes, forcing myself to breathe, trying to picture myself somewhere else. Anywhere else.
Tick tock. "FIVE MINUTES! There are five minutes until we begin," the announcer called loudly. Most of the room audibly gasped, the impending doom hitting us all forcefully at the same time.
Tick tock. The girl next to me was hyperventilating. "I c-c-c-can't breathe!" she moaned.
This wasn't helping to keep me calm. I look at my watch, the hands growing closer and closer to 9:00. It felt like the time for my execution.
I turned to her slowly and whispered, "You will be fine. You've been preparing for this moment for 3 years." Her eyes bugged out of her head as I unintentionally reminded her of how much the next three days meant to all of us.
"WHAT?!?!" she hissed.
Tick tock. Realizing my mistake, I whispered hastily, "You're ready for this! You're here today! You're already better off than all those people who were too scared to come. Look at all the empty seats in this room! They've already failed. And tomorrow there will be even less people here, because they won't have the guts to show up for day 2." I finally paused for a breath and winked. "Come on! We're not striving for perfection here - mediocrity is just fine for our purposes."
A small smile crossed her lips. Her breathing slowed and color started to return to her face. I couldn't have this girl passing out on me, so I kept going. "I won't be here tomorrow. I have to head to Jersey tonight and take the next 2 days there. But if it makes you feel better, tell yourself that I did so badly today I couldn't bring myself to show up."
That got a laugh. They were now passing out the blue books. "Thank you. No offense, but I will tell myself exactly that tomorrow," she said quickly while accepting a stack of 9 booklets and the scantron sheet.
Tick tock. The hands on the clock reached 9. The announcer over the loud speaker came on once more. "It is now time to begin the 2003 New York State Bar Exam. Good luck."
In that moment, time stood still as I forced myself to remain calm. While tearing open my exam booklet, five people went bombing up to the front of the room and out the door. You could hear the sounds of them getting sick inside the bathroom.
I looked at the girl next to me and mouthed "SEE!" She winked, mouthed back "good luck" and began her test.
With one last deep breath, and glance at my watch, I too dove in.
That's the last clear memory I have of the bar exam. I don't want to remember any more of it either!
Check out the other Theme Thursday clock moments.
25 comments:
Wow! I never really thought about it that way before, all that college and classes and it all boils down to a single exam! That really must have been gut wrenching!
I took a bar exam, but I couldn't figure out how to do a long island iced tea! :)
I've heard terrible things about the bar exam. Congratulations for passing it.
It just perplexes me that a career that requires so much creativity and passion is based on a standardized test. Go figure.
Wow. I didn't realize how intense that exam must be. I read every word of your post.
Ugghhh...I am taking a business law class and I can barely understand it. I actually think about your blog from time to time while I'm supposed to be reading the book. It's so boring and confusing that my mind keeps wondering when I should be reading. I gotta give you props - I don't know how you did it!
That post was riveting! I was glued to it word for word the entire time! I felt the same way about the NCLEX. That's the exam that RN's have to pass... also excruciating... 4 years boiled down to one pain in the ass test. I feel you sister.
could you pass it today?
I have know a numbe of people who've taken it numerous times. Thanks for sharing your story.
Damn. Otin beat me to the punch with a "bar" joke...!
I'm biting my nails just remembering.
Hi Ms. Wonder Woman!
Bar exams here will be later this year, my sister's boyfriend is taking it. :D
Really well written. I knew from the first two lines you were taking an exam and kept reading to find out what type. I will say, for a brief moment when you were talking to the girl next to you, I thought perhaps you were in Lamaze or the delivery room helping her deliver. The three days kinda cleared THAT up!
And look at you now...xoxox
Super post! Did you pass?!? I hope so, if not you should go into psychology you really talked that girl down from the ledge in her head.
Wonderful.
This brings to life once more my experience of my doctoral Comprehensive exams. Oof.
Ugh better you than me! Congrats for passing though!
I hate tests!!
Oy. And I want to become a lawyer WHY?
Wow - Very good. Thanks for sharing that!
I hate those tests that define your life.
I hated the SATs and I hated taking my PE (professional engineers exam).
Great post.
wow. felt the tension creeping into my shoulders waiting for the "punch" line to see where this one was going. all of it leading up to a point lost in time, forgotten. great post!
My youngest daughter, who passed her exams on the first try eleven years ago, told me all about the people who didn't come back after the first days lunch break.
It's really a shame after all that studying it all comes down to one exam. Than imagine you pass the bar exam and still are not accepted into the bar.
I know a couple of people are already practicing in one state, but now they are studying to take it all over again for the state next door. Their fb statuses are a hoot these days.
I'm so proud of you! I don't know why exactly, I just am.... for passing the bar, I guess! Hope you had a great weekend!
I have not taken a test for many, many years. That makes me so happy to not have to take any. It is great that you stuck it out and passed.
That was a great story about how one can feel before taking a test. Thank you for sharing this.
God bless.
Tests can be a test.
Ugh. I hate exams.
I had to take all those state teaching exams.
Ugh.
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