Another Day, Another Test

Yeah... I'm on a bar exam kick. It's my way of commiserating with the people who are taking the bar right now. And you're actually getting a couple personal posts out of me, so deal with it.

Today is the MBE, which is the full day of multiple choice torture. I suck at multiple choice tests. I went into the essay days of the bar hoping to knock one out of the park. I went into the multiple choice portion praying that I didn't completely bomb it. The truth about the MBE is that everyone thinks they failed it. If you walk out of the room feeling good about the test, you're a freak. And you probably failed.

But there's nothing fun about multiple choice.

Instead, I'll tell you the debacle which was the Maine bar. The first problem was that I took the test while working and taking the test just wasn't working for me. I was originally supposed to take it in February. But a month before the bar, things got insane in the courthouse.

Our big boat explosion case was going to trial and the pre-trial motions literally arrived in boxes. THREE BOXES to be exact. Not just little boxes either. Those huge ass plastic totes that you'd send your kid off to college in. As if that wasn't bad enough, our big construction case reached the summary judgment stage and those motions piled up four feet high on my floor. AND our class action got returned from the Appellate Division (again...for the third time) so we finally had to 1) locate, 2) read and 3) decide motions which occupied another couple boxes.

Fortunately, Maine lets you defer your testing once without having to reapply and pay your fees all over again. So hubby (before he was hubby) took the bar in February and I took it in July. The night before the test, I told his mom that we had to drive the route to the testing center together so I wouldn't get lost either heading there or back. She showed me how to get there and then pointed out the way home without actually driving the route with me. (You're all smart readers...You see where this is going...)

Maine is a little different from other states. (Shocking, right?) Instead of having 4 essays in the morning and 4 in the afternoon, you get 2 at a time with 90 minutes to complete them. The first 2 are the state specific stuff. The first question is all short answer, but your answer isn't complete unless you cite to the appropriate rule. (They give you a rule book to aid with the torture).

So I'm cruising along the 35 short answers. I knew all the answers but I couldn't find the right rule. I had 3 questions left when the announcer said, "You now have 10 minutes to complete this section of the exam."

Oh FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

I hadn't even looked at the second question. I threw down random rule numbers next to my answers, knowing they were wrong and scanned the second essay. It probably required a good 30 minutes of writing to fully analyze. I had five. Max.

I quickly abandoned the idea of writing out the essay in long form, following the rule of last resort - write the first and last paragraphs and outline the middle. My hand was cramped and aching when they called time.

Making matters worse, the next two questions tested all my worst subjects... negotiable instruments and tax. (I won't bore you with the questions. But one tested something that was fully addressed in 1 line of the prep outline. And tax? I hadn't studied it. They took it off the exam in February and I hadn't realized they brought it back for the July test.)

I literally finished the two essay questions in 20 minutes. Then I sat there miserably for the next 70 minutes KNOWING with every fiber of my being that I had failed. With five minutes to go, the magical words "holder in due course" popped into my head. I had no damn idea if they even applied to the question, but I furiously scribbled a few lines into the essay about holders, hoping that would save my ass somehow.

The rest of the exam passed without incident. I almost left at lunch and called it quits, but where would I go? Hubby's mom was at work and I had no way of getting into the house. So I toughed it out and happily raced to my car when I was done.

I got SO lost on my way back to her house. I missed my turn off. I had no idea that Portland was that big, but I think I covered every inch of it that night. As exhaustion started overtaking me, I contemplated pulling over and sleeping on the side of the road. Except I had no idea where I was - so how the hell would I get back to the testing center in the morning. I started running traffic lights, hoping a cop would pull me over so I could ask for directions...

No luck.

But eventually, I did find my way back thanks to the long distance directions given to me by hubby. I was happy to return to Jersey, where I forgot about the exam and how miserably I did on it until the day the envelope arrived in the mail.

Sometimes small envelopes are good - it's just the letter telling you the date of your swearing in. Sometimes small envelopes are bad - no more than the notification that you suck and failed. I didn't want to open mine.

It was big. Big had to mean I failed and these were the materials I needed to fill out to reapply to take the test. With shaking hands, I opened the envelope. My eyes struggled to focus on the words...For a second, I was so delirious, I thought it said "Congratulations." Immediately, I handed the letter to hubby and forced him to tell me what it said.

I still think they made a mistake... No one demand a recount, okay?