Know what happens when a bunch of lawyers get together? Well, yes, we do a lot of unnecessary talking about law. I meant the other thing.
That's right. We drink. Heavily.
Perhaps it's to drown out all that boring law talk that we never seem to get away from. Or maybe it's simply because we lawyers have more substance abuse problems than most normal people.
Through our ever present booze induced haze, you could have seen the following at our dinner last night:
our president-elect dirty dancing - no, FILTHY dancing - with a chair. (i don't get it...isnt a warm body preferrable?)
people frantically calling the office to cancel their blackberries. The damn things were stolen! (these lost devices were later found...under the chairs of the ones who lost them)
1000 lawyers. 999 black suits. 1000 blackberries permanantly attached to our hands or ears. Boy are we an exciting bunch. The one non-black suit? It was fuck me red. You can't imagine the abuse she got.
You also would have heard these things:
"Love me this mirror. I look so tall. And skinny. WOW! I have the best ass ever!" (it was a great mirror. If only we all looked so hot in real life...seriously though, I have to get one of those mirrors)
"I'm sorry ma'am. You are far too drunk to be buying razors." (oy...it's a bit strange to be buying razors at 7-11 at 3 AM after closing down the bar. But do you really need a suicide waiver to sell the razor?)
"We're not like the rest of you. We have the nepolianic code in Louisiana. no, not the ice cream with 3 flavors, guys!" (yes, we're lawyers...but do you really think we're that stupid?)
"Jersey, Jersey, Jersey. I love everything about New Jersey. I especially love YOU. You are my favorite Jersey thing EVER." (This from the very drunk delegate from Oklahoma. I guess if you're from OK, Jersey would seem pretty great)
"Yes! It's dark on this bus. Let's cuddle!" (The same very drunk OK guy, while throwing his arms and legs around a very embarrased, very straight, male attorney who instantly regretted admitting the seat next to him was available)
It was an experience. And now I am glad it's over.
(I promise, something non-law related tomorrow)
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7 comments:
LMAO!! I would have loved to see all those lawyers cutting loose!! Man...U tube here I come!
Sigh... If you lived closer I would want you to be my lawyer! After we sued some people we could go and paint the town. lol
I loved the part about the Blackberries under the chairs...that is soooo me. Under "Drunken Stupor" is a picture of me when I have had to many Red Bull and Vodkas...usually grabbing my tah-tahs. But I have to say, they are NICE tah-tahs...so I have been told.
I used to own a business in Loozeranna and you know what. That guy is right. Napolianic law is different in 9 ways of f'd up. Don't even get me started, but that is STATE law. Federal is Federal no matter where you go.
Hey how did the red suit go over?
needsleepy: LOL! So THAT'S who was in those photos!
Gladys: it takes confidence to wear that kind of suit. she had the body to carry it off though.
I always assumed that lawyers were always all buttoned up and stuffy. Now I know that the majority are lushes who have a need to purchase random items in convenience stores at odd hours.
sornie: that's what we like you guys to assume... but the whole work hard, play harder thing is very ingrained into the culture!
I had a lawyer neighbor with 2 little boys. He did cocaine!! Lots of it.
And I'm supposed to trust you for counsel?
I'm beginning to question the cui bono.
I think you'd make a good particeps criminis rather instead.
Or maybe both =P
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