wednesday weirdness

I'm in the middle of wading my way through 50 years worth of environmental contamination reports, so I'm too fried to think of my own material for today's post... Instead, I'm playing along with Wednesday Weirdness. Want to play along too? Answer these questions on your own blog:

1.) If you had to either shop for your groceries in your underwear only (bra&panties or boxers/briefs/whatever) or run streaking through the mall totally naked for no less than 4 minutes, which will you pick?

I'd have to go for shopping in my bra and panties. Although it'd take much longer than a 4 minute streak through the mall, at least I could feel comforted by the idea that I wasn't totally exposing myself to the masses. Plus do you know much it'd hurt for me to run braless for any amount of time? You can't go without when you're my size!

2.) You're having dinner at the inlaws (your boyfriend/girlfriend's parents if not married) and the food is so awful you would rather eat the table cloth. Your mother in law (bf/gf mother) calls you out and asks if there is anything wrong with the food. You can't say you're "just not that hungry" because you had earlier claimed to be "starving" so now, how do you respond to her?

I apologize profusely and confess that I recently decided to become vegan. If she presses me on it, I tell her that I'm in training for a big race and this is the new diet my trainer put me on. Hopefully she won't notice that I suck down a bacon cheeseburger the second her head's turned!

3.) In the middle of foreplay, your partner asks if you want to try something new. You ask what it is. They want to stick some kind of frozen fruit or vegetable up your anus. How open to trying this are you?

You're joking, right? FREAK! ;)

4.) Would you rather have to walk 30 feet over burning hot coals or walk 70 feet over broken shards of glass? Why?

Seriously? I don't do pain. As soon as I found out I was having a baby, I told everyone to tank me up on drugs so I didn't feel a thing during the birth. It's probably good I was never in labor because the bill for the anesthesiologist would have been through the roof! Yes, that was my attempt at changing the subject. I see it didn't work.

Well, if I have to answer: The glass. It may be a longer way to go, but there's a chance that I don't slice my foot open with every step. The coals? They'll just burn the hell out of me. There's no way around that.

5.) Would you rather have to have sex with your partner with a room full of your former high school classmates watching or have sex with your partner in a room full with a mix of each of your former exes watching?

Welcome to the land of the totally improbable! But if we're going to pretend like this would ever happen, I'd rather screw in front of my former classmates. If I decide I ever want my exes back in the bedroom with me, I'll close my eyes and imagine them there.