After awhile, the cases get routine. There's only so many times you can look at a rear end hit at a stop light where the plaintiff has a herniated L4-L5 disc with radiculopathy... Only so many times you can read about the family owned business that falls to pieces because 1 sibling screws over another because he wants more than his equal share of the company.
But every so often, a case comes along that's so new, so interesting. It brings back the excitement of being a lawyer. And that's where I come in.
I usually get the cases that no one wants...That's the problem (or the benefit) of being on this side of the letterhead. Though why people don't want these cases, I'm not sure.
I've fallen into the role of what you might call the adult entertainment expert.
We had a case where a town desperately wanted to find a way to get rid of the swingers club operating within its borders. I spent months reading up on this club, their parties, the rules of swinging ("attendance at a party is not consent to have sex with you" was rule 1) and reading the reviews of their parties (my favorite was naughty school girl night) for the past 4 years. Because single women are ALWAYS welcome at their events, I was all set to go undercover to the "ice cream sundae sunday social and toy party" when my dad called my boss and threatened to kill him if I went to the, um, event.
I've read every case that exists on the constitutionality of the right to swing. And I wrote the brief that was so compelling that the swingers moved to another town - one we don't represent - rather than fight me.
Enter the next case...the porn shop. It involved truly in-depth research into the various movies, magazines, toys and other articles they sell.
Most recently, enter the porn star. I'm sorry. Adult entertainment actress. (Does that really sound any better?) Try to make this case stick: a hostile work environment claim on the set of a porno! Sorry, can't get into more detail than that - I'll let your imaginations go wild... you're probably accurate with whatever you're thinking.
Oh yeah...this is my work. My little niche in the law. Just call me the expert.
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11 comments:
HA! This is MUCH better than the civil cases my bestie (civil atty) tells me about! I think your "new speciality" sounds much better than the same ol "he hit me and now my neck hurts" claim!
BTW....The word verification below is "hoedrid". I would say "oh no, that hoedridn't!" LMAO
In order to get a good perspective, do you have to get into character every so often?
If so, I'm sure you'd fill out (pun intended) the role quite well!
Funny, funny post here. Loved it!
Jen: These cases aren't the bread and butter of what I do. My typical cases aren't probably along the lines of what you're used to hearing from your friend.
Jor: Glad I could keep you entertained... And for the record, I don't have to get into character that often? Often enough? Depends on your perspective I guess.
how can your dinner conversations ever be boring w/cases like this? lol
At the very least, it's titillating! I'd much rather be researching that than what I do on a daily basis. hahaha
Melissa: Because my dinner conversations usually revolve around the other cases... Foreclosure law is hardly this interesting!
Ms. S: cute - and i'd rather research this stuff than the other things on my desk as well
In what other profession can you rent "Debbie Does Dallas" and not only call it research but expense it to your employer as well?
HEY RACH! Um...the porn industry probably? :)
Porn is for twisted, sick bastards. Which is why I've devoted years to removing it (or "downloading," for you tech savvy Y2Kers out there) from the internet and storing it on my hard drive where no one can see it.
I check on it nightly. Hasn't moved.
Ahhhhh...porn makes the world go round, right? lol
I have to say that I think it would have been so great if you would have went undercover to the "event" and then wrote about it to us!! lol I would sooo read something like that...ummm...for the research on the law practice of course. :-)
Brad: Glad I have you out there to capture all the porn I don't want to see :P
Needsleepy: That would have made for a great story. I haven't tried to find these guys in awhile - maybe I'll look them up... for purely law-related research purposes of course
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